i saw some gay post one time about gender neutral things to call your significant other and alex and i legitimately call each other kissfriend and lovebud now. i want you all to be aware

Stuff Nobody Tells you About Getting An Apartment.


This’ll cover the basics, such as financial expectation, rental history, what to bring for the application process, etc.

FIRST PLACE?: Don’t sweat it.  What’s likely is you’ll have a higher deposit, or need lots of references, or have a longer lease.  You may have to deal with being rejected because they assume with you being young that you’re not mature, or that you tend to party.  This is a stereotype that, unfortunately, you can’t really fight.  Keep looking, don’t give up.  Come prepared with reference letters from employers, non-family friends you’ve known at least a year, volunteer mentors.  This will make you look awesome.  

If you can get out on your own without any hitches, you should do it.  If you’re in the process of getting booted out by family because they don’t want to support you anymore, or you’ve had enough and are deciding to save up the smallest amount possible to get out fast (see “how much should I save?”), as long as you follow the rest of the steps below, all should be well.  

Sometimes (not always; just sometimes) when you live in an area where the rent is just not in your price range at all and you don’t want to move away from a place you know, it helps to have a friend who’s been renting a while and becoming roommates.  You essentially ride in on their rental history and in doing so, you build up some cred yourself.  Plus, then you have not only your future manager’s reference, but a personal/roommate reference.  Everyone should have a couple roommates in their life, so they can figure out how to co-habitate.  Family doesn’t count, and be careful housing with close friends because it might test your friendship.  You might be saying “Oh, no!  We’re best friends!  If I can’t live with my best friend—” but trust me: long-term friendships have ended because of roommate situations.  After doing this, then you can live completely on your own.

If you don’t have a credit card, get one.  Buy little things on credit you know you can afford; pay them off within the first two weeks of purchasing them.  What this does is increase your credit score, which looks good on your background check.  Do this early and often, and you’ll look awesome.  Don’t trust credit cards?  Check if your bank will let you take out a personal loan.  Make it smallish, ranging $350-$500.  Go on a mini-vacation, or buy yourself a video game console, or a couple new outfits that are in fashion.  Pay it back monthly in double the minimum payment, and pay on time.  Having credit is essential if you want an apartment.  Also, having this little cache of… cash… will help you with your moving costs.

PROOF OF INCOME?: You need it. Are you a student? You may get some apprehension and maybe even denials, but in any case, bring in your financial aid award letter.  Are you self-employed?  Bring in bank statements and 1099’s/tax documentation.  Working hourly 9-5?  Three recent paystubs should suffice.  Is your sugar daddy/momma paying your rent? They need to be put on the lease as a guarantor/co-signer.

HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE YOUR RENTAL SCORE?: Your rental score results from information found in your credit report, criminal history, references, and application data. Such information may include your history of paying bills and rent, the accounts you have, collections and delinquencies, income and debt.

Your rental score may change if the underlying information it is based upon changes. To improve your score, concentrate on paying your bills on time, paying down outstanding balances, and removing incorrect information. Your chances of approval may also improve if you apply for an apartment with lower monthly rent, or use a guarantor or co-signer if permitted by Management.

HOW MUCH SHOULD I PAY FOR RENT?: The going rate of income should be 2.5 what your rent will be.  If you’re working right now, this is pretty simple maths.  Federal minimum wage in the USA as of 2013 is $7.25/hr.  At 40 hours per week, that equals $1160 per month gross.  Take that number and plug it into a website likepaycheck city (you don’t need the work address; it’ll do it without).  After putting in the number, it’ll give you calculations based on the area you’re in.  Let’s say, going off our above numbers, your net ends up being $961.95. Dividing that by 2.5, your price range should be about $385 per month.  If you want a place that’s more than that, your likelihood of getting the place goes down.  Beware the hidden costs!  Ask about utilities.  If they’re not included in the rent, you need to make sure you can afford them.  Try, whenever possible, to get some or all of the utilities included.  What about laundry services?  Do you have a washer/dryer in your unit, or do you need to pay-per-use?  This will affect the overall cost of your water or electric bill.  

HOW MUCH SHOULD I SAVE BEFORE MOVING?: At the very least, three month’s rent.  This gives you the rough coverage of first and last (standard practice) as well as your deposit.  If you have pets or would like a pet, make sure to put aside another month’s worth.  If we use the above numbers, that means you need to save at least $1856.  And that’s not counting the actual cost of packing supplies and moving all your stuff.  A few people have reblogged and said you should save up to a year’s worth of rent before you move, but I can say with utmost confidence that it’s possible to do it with this 3-4 months of money.  If you can save more, you should.  Once you move in, you should start putting aside money to save up for emergencies.  But that’s another post.  

HOW DO I FIND A PLACE?: Research. Ask friends of the family. Check your local listings, both in print and online. Drive around neighborhoods you’d like to live and collect phone numbers, because not everyone can afford newspaper ads or think online resources like craigslist will bring in less-than-savory types.  And always, always, always double-check places online before you schedule a viewing or sign anything.  Use Yelp. Use Google Reviews. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT STEP SO DON’T SKIP IT.


  1. More Advice (from my followers)
  2. Anthony’s Advice
  3. Even More Advice (cost comparison, roommates, and craigslist)
  4. Cons of Roommates (one follower’s opinion; but take it with a grain of salt, because every situation is different)
  5. Ways of Working the System (going back to school, switching employment, living in “poor” neighborhoods)

Anonymous asked: how do you deal with food cravings? im trying to lose some weight ((for myself not anyone else bc hell yeah)) and i just am always craving food, do you have any advice?


#food, and this could be a potential trigger so #weight loss, #weight mention

i’d HIGHLY suggest switching up your diet to healthier foods if you’re still hungry. i don’t hardly eat carbs (like.. at all? i have one “carby” meal a day) because honestly they just.. fill me up but in a really bad way and i get hungry really fast after it but i eat lots of protein + healthy fats and i’m pretty much never hungry except when it’s my normal meal times. it’s really, really important to know that if you’re hungry there’s a reason..!!

eat more nuts, avocado, seeds, tofu/tempeh/tvp, soups, brown rice, etc. if you’re hungry, YOU’RE HUNGRY! your body isn’t getting what it needs!

if you’re talking about “junk food cravings”, replace sweets with smoothies and dried fruit, make things like banana bread with nuts, etc.. i am very against calorie counting in general because it has been proven time and time again to lead to #disordered eating and just isn’t accurate at all so like.. don’t do that. you could eat 2,000 calories a day (i used to maintain at 3,700 if you’d believe it) and lose weight if it’s right for your body.. everyone is idiosyncratic, we’re all difference and need different things. but what it sounds like YOUR body needs is more healthy fats, complex carbs and protein. :) you may also work better with grazing, too. so make sure you have access to healthy snacks like fruit and veg with pb etc regularly!

make sure to drink half your weight in fl oz of water every day and stretch and take care of yourself! don’t ignore being hungry please!


clean bathroom tips
organize your closet
how to fix a leaky faucet
how to keep a clean kitchen
removing stains from your carpet
how to coupon
what to do when you can’t pay your bills
see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill
how to save money
How to Balance a Check Book
How to do Your Own Taxes
how to take care of yourself when you’re sick
things to bring to a doctor’s appointment
what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment
how to make a doctor’s appointment
how to pick a health insurance plan
a list of stress relievers
how to get free therapy

how to remove a splinter

how to avoid a hangover

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop
a list of hotlines in a crisis
things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

recipes that take 30 minutes or less
Yummy apple thing
Brownie in a cup
Cookie in a cup
French bread pizza
Egg tacos
panera mac n cheese recipe
different salad recipes
harry potter recipes
healthy recipes
various cookie recipes
chocolate cupcakes w/ eggless cookie dough topping
s’mores pie 
nutella hot chocolate
peanut butter nutella swirl cookies
cookie in a mug
starbucks holiday drinks
fruit leathers 
brownie in a mug
how to make ramen 1000x better
eggless cookie dough (not to bake, just to eat)
make recipes using things you already have
how to put together a very fancy cheese plate 
make different flavored lemonades
various desert recipes
make tiny chocolate chip cookies
20 dishes every cook should know
learn how to make your own tea
Macaroni and cheese in a mug
Study snacks(2)
40 on-the-go breakfast recipes
what the hell is a mortgage?
first apartment essentials checklist
how to care for cacti and succulents
the care and keeping of plants 
Getting an apartment
time management
create a resume
find the right career
how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters
Traveling for Cheap 
Travel Accessories
The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase
How To Read A Map
How to Apply For A Passport
How to Make A Travel Budget
Better You
read the news
leave your childhood traumas behind
how to quit smoking
how to get a book published
how to knit
how to use a polaroid camera
how to solve a rubik’s cube
how to stop biting your nails
how to stop procrastinating
how to stop skipping breakfast
how to stop micromanaging
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how to stop swearing constantly
how to stop being a pushover
learn another language
how to improve your self-esteem
how to sew
learn how to embroider
how to love yourself
learn how to do yoga
learn how to make your own cards










Better You


April fools day is extra shitty for comedians, like imagine if you made music and it was May Musicians Day and someone who doesn’t know anything about music comes over to you and plays a shitty song that you didn’t ask to hear and you just have to be like “oh wow good one!!!”


i cant really imagine an ideal pope because my ideal pope probably wouldnt be a huge fan of the catholic church and that seems overly optimistic

Anonymous asked: Can you list tips for being independent/living on your own with your partner?


i’m still figuring it out myself! but i guess here’s what i’ve learned

  • save up x2 as much money as u think ull need
  • talk everything out before it festers and becomes a real issue
  • no space is urs— dont move out the idea that its ur space. if ur moving in with a partner its not
  • moving out looks like freedom but lots of people confuse freedom with independence. being independent means you’re gonna have less time to urself than ever. it means being on time to school, work, buses, etc. it means when u mess up u gotta be ok w tryin to figure it out urself first. bills dont go away. dishes dont go away. responsibilities dont go away. ur free time isnt really ur time anymore; u have to worry about things. if uve never done this before, it’s pretty stressful. if uve already had a job during school and paid bills, it’ll be easier.
  • do lots of research. things u dont think about paying for, u’ll have to pay for. ive always paid for my transit, things, and phone, etc, and traveled away from home for months at a time so i figured out how to budget for food and housing and i STILL fucked up multiple times. it’s HARD. i highly suggest laying out a VERY detailed budget and then adding $50 at the end of it because things will always wind up being more expensive anyway.
  • don’t act like you’re not ever going to grab food while you’re out or pick up something for the house, either. toilet paper, burritos, dish soap and shampoo all add up. make sure they’re in the budget.
  • don’t buy a car if u can’t afford it. that’s the #1 mistake i made. i bought a really great car— the engine had been totally rebuilt and everything. i love it to death. but when i moved to another state i found out they had different regulations on air cleanliness and had to immediately shell out $400 to replace a lil muffler thing on it. a few months later, the old thing, the fuel pump had been going out and totally wrecked my mileage for months because it’s 23 years old. $900. got a flat, didn’t have roadside assistance, had to shell out $80 to get the donut on because our jack broke; the car sat too long on the rim when we were waiting for help, bent it, so we had to buy a new one on top of the new tire— another $80. we had to fill up the oil on the side of the road once because we hadn’t gotten an oil change and accidentally filled it up too much, fucked it all up, and had to get the air gauge replaced. $200. and i have an AWESOME car and i’ve never once been in an accident— and it gets 48mpg, never sputters, can drive for hours and hours and the parts are all super dooper cheap because it’s so tiny. this is literally all just small things that happen. i blew all my savings on repairing it. seriously— don’t get a car if you can’t afford it.
  • discuss chores and bill divvying before you move in. don’t do swaps, either, those rarely work. i cook, clean, and generally do all the grocery shopping, appointment making, budget planning and food menus, etc etc; dan does the laundry and the dishes and vacuums, and is around when i need his help with a big chore. it generally works for us.
  • if you’re going to work and go to school at the same time, it’s hard. i work my own hours and i still spend anywhere from twenty to thirty hours working on top of school and writing at least three papers a week. add in living with a partner, cleaning and cooking, and maybe having the semblance of a social life, and you realize there aren’t enough hours in the day. my mom’s been visiting and helping with all the cleaning and cooking and all i’ve been doing with my free time is SLEEP because of how exhausted i always am. it’s hard. i used to try and make time to once a week take a bath, do my nails, do a deep scrub, etc etc, but i don’t really have the time anymore. if you do, i definitely suggest it— it’ll help with your sanity.
  • the bun is the best thing that ever happened to me but it makes traveling a huge ordeal. don’t get a lil creature that relies on you to stay alive if you aren’t home a lot to take care of it, u dont have the resources, the space, etc.
  • find out ur cheapest grocery store and Do It
  • don’t move to a city w/o decent public transit
  • learn how to clean, do small repairs, mend things, etc before u move
  • have a toolkit, lightbulbs, and cleaning equipment when u move
  • keep jumper cables in ur car
  • wash your towels and bedding when u do laundry. seriously, it’s like one extra load. just do it.
  • make an effort to go on dates still. living with someone can sometimes kill the romance when you realize They Have Gross Habits (dan can’t stand that i trim my nails in the living room, for instance, and he stays up too late and keeps all the lights on and keeps me up on school nights) but date nights are still a lot of fun and getting dressed up just for the other is romantic and sweet and nice

granted, even though i’m stressed out 99% of the time, the 1% of the time i’m not makes it totally worth it. i love my house and my bun and my partner and my life. it’s hard and i’m stretched thin but i’m rarely dissatisfied and truly feel like i’m earning my place in life, which is really satisfying. good luck!

Anonymous asked: hey kiki! sorry to bother, but i love your fashion choices for your store, i just can't fit in any of the sizes you advertise :( are you going to diversify the sizes you sell in your store at all?


oh gosh. i’ve talked about this pretty extensively, but i will do it again.

basically, despite the fact the average american dfab individual is a size 14, the fashion industry refuses to create a market for this audience due to fatphobia and general patriarchal ideals that create a model woman that oppresses, shames, and controls women. it’s fucking shitty. i was a 1x when i was 15-16 and it shocking how difficult it was to shop for clothes.

this sort of thing, unfortunately, reflects back and trickles down into all stores— including thrift stores, where i shop for my store almost exclusively. in the area i live, there is, on average, one plus-size rack out of the thirty or more racks in the store. i pillage the men’s, children’s, women’s and plus size racks; i look in the workout sections and the maternity racks. dan, poor guy, can attest to this— it takes me anywhere from two to three hours to work over a store. 1/8th of the items i list on average are XL or larger— which is impressive, as only 1/30th of the merchandise i have access to offers these sizes. at the moment, i have 5 pieces that are xl or larger out of a run of 15 pieces i am about to list, which is incredible for me. i got really lucky this time. it’s literally the first time in the half year i’ve been doing this that i’ve had that ratio.

i won’t pretend that my act of running a store that isn’t more evenly sized isn’t contributing to that oppression of people of more diverse and larger sizes. but i promise, i PINKY PROMISE SWEAR ON MY LIFE, i do my absolute best to offer what i can. my mother is a size 22/24, so i’ve watched first hand as a child people turn her away at stores because they don’t “offer her size”. i’ve watched her struggle to find affordable clothing on less than a shoestring budget. i make sure when i list larger sizes they aren’t any more expensive and are just as cute and original as the other pieces i list. i don’t want you to settle and i don’t want you to have to deal with that sort of casually oppressive attitude the fashion industry promotes and i’m so sorry i can’t offer more items at this time. i promise, though— i’m working really hard to try and find areas outside of town, stores ages away, just to offer more sizing options.

here’s an article that discusses the reasons of fashion shunning plus sizes, and offers designers and retailers that sell plus sized clothing. if i ever get more involved in fashion, i promise that representation of all individuals and their beautiful bodies is the first thing i will work on.

was i even real two years ago